So original it hurts

Really smooth guys. Doesn't everyone love it when sports teams make goofy promotional songs? It's especially great when they rip off a more popular song by the most beloved team in the state in which they reside. The Bradley University basketball team apparently decided that this was waaaaay too good a opportunity to pass up, so they decided to roll out the "MVC Shuffle" based off of, you guessed it, the Chicago Bears "Super Bowl Shuffle."



I'm not sure what the rationale was behind such an awesomely absurd display of awkwardness (you know you love alliteration), but I'm definitely sure the video didn't need to be EIGHT F*&(&@G MINUTES LONG. Let's face it, none of these guys is the next Tupac, or even the next Too Short, but some of these are masterpieces in fine unintentionally funny lyrical delivery.

Take for instance 6-9 forward Will Egolf. It's about the kind of flow you'd expect from a tall, seemingly awkward white guy. But, to be fair, he's handicapped when it comes to rap. The guy's from Juneau-fucking-Alaska. We all know Trajan Langdon couldn't have done better. But at least he won a national title. Then there's freshman guard James Robertson, who isn't even qualified enough to have his own verse, but is apparently qualified enough to earn the title of "douchey white guy wearing a du-rag." Check him out at roughly 5:36 of this little ditty. Also for your amusement is "shirtless white guy with a headband playing maracas," and the guy playing the drums looks less like Neal Peart and more like my dad playing my drum set after downing a 12 pack of Natty Light ("Thank you, Peoria!").

Perhaps the best cameo, though, is by school president Joanne Glasser. She walks up looking something like Joan Jett-meets-(insert Bradley bball player name here), and rocks a verse like you'd expect a 50+ white woman to rock it.

But hey, it worked for the Bears right? They rode their swagger all the way to a 15-1 record and their only Super Bowl ring in 1985. The Braves surely must be tearing things up on the court. Well, not exactly. While still somewhat in contention in the Mo Valley, they're rocking a mediocre 11-8 record. Miami Football take notes. This is not the way to get your swagger back.

Hail to the Chief

I know this isn't a politics blog, but....

FUCK
and
YES



image courtesy of loljocks.blogspot.com