By now, everyone is pretty familiar with the epic scene in the film "Risky Business," the one in which Tom Cruise sings Bob Seger's classic, "Old Time Rock and Roll" sans pants. Even if you haven't seen the movie, you're probably familiar with the scene. Well, the genius marketing folks for Guitar Hero decided to play off this scene in their latest advertisement for the new installment of the game. And here she be:
You saw right: that's Tony Hawk on drums, A-Rod and Michael "Neck Full of Paperweights" Phelps on guitars, and the one and only Kobe Bryant on lead vocals. All in all, a pretty amusing commercial. It's pretty amazing how far Kobe Bryant has come in a few years in terms of getting back into advertisements. Three years ago, is he the lead in this ensemble? Probably not. But notice, he's the only one wearing actual knee-length shorts in the commercial. Kobe without pants may bring up a few memories that neither he nor the Guitar Hero folks want to bring up. Plus, we're all used to seeing Michael Phelps wearing basically nothing, and A-Rod had to show Madonna the goods. His attempt to turn this into a version of "Material Girl" was shot down.
My question? How was the ultimate Guitar Hero athlete left out of this commercial?
photo from loljocks.blogspot.com
That's right, Joel "Slash" Zumaya. If you'll recall, Zumaya missed a significant chunk of time in late 2006 because of an injury believed to be caused by hours upon hours of Guitar Hero. If anyone deserved to be in this commercial, it was "Slash." This is a travesty that must be addressed. I'm calling for a boycott of this game until Zumaya is on the cover. Period.
With Ty Willingham announcing that he will be stepping down as head coach of the University of Washington's football team. This announcement has sent many members of the sports media into a frenzy.....mostly about the big name at the top of the list of possible coaching prospects, Gary "G-Pain" Pinkell. Really?!?!?! There is one rule of coaching in the NCAA, no matter what the sport. And it is.....you do NOT take a demotion in job, such as going to a worse situation like....Mizzou to Washington. Coming off of a Top 25 recruiting class which included the best QB prospect in the country AND possibly two straight trips the the Big 12 Championship game, to a team who still has not won a single game, CMON!!!!!!
Even T-Pain thinks its crazy!!!
With all of the rumors of Coach Pinkell going to Washington I feel it will take a very large amount of money for Pinkell to make the move to the West Coast. There are three things I absolutely do not believe in, in this world.....leprechauns, the tooth fairy, and gossip. And that is all it is, GOSSIP. While there are short Irish men, not leprechauns, gossip will always be in my book just hot air. E believes in leprechauns
Now, the more accurate report in the Mizzou-Washington job switch is the interest in Mizzou OC(don't call it that) Dave Christensen. Now this makes more sense, an OC taking the head coaching job at a BCS Conference school, that is something worth reporting. Christensen has been one of the better OC's in the country over the past few years and he played his college ball there......it just makes sense. I feel Christensen is going to end up being one of the favorites going into the off-season for the Washington job, but I would feel much better if we would throw in our Defensive Coordinator Matt Eberflus, who I still hold responsible for the break down in our secondary. Just say Offensive Coordinator
After Mizzou's completely domintating performance over the University of Colorado this past Saturday, I can't refrain from remembering the infamous Dan Hawkins rant.....I believe the quote was "It's Division-I Football!!!" Really Dan? Because you fail to show it on the field. Perhaps you should have given your team an extra day off during the summer, because hey, it really didn't help. Maybe your players were dreaming about the hippie ass they were gunna score during the famous 4-20 celebration your campus puts on.
Bob Marley just CAME!!!!!
While the Colorado season is on a down hill slope, at least Coach Hawkins can help develop his son into a good QB and a possible draft prospect.....O WAIT!!! Cody Hawkins' recent decline in competence and inability to pick apart Ron Prince's third most important priority(WE-FENSE!!!) this jumble forced Hawkins to make the move to back-up QB to the less talented Hansen cousin leaving Big Dan with more pride in his son then when the doctor handed Ron Jeremy to his father. Gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!
Well with the Cody Hawkins experience in the bag for now, enter Tyler Hansen!!! Yeah this will last longer than the pandemonium for his cousins. But who will the Dan Man go to after Hansen fails at the job......could we feel the Wild Buff with stud freshman Darrell Scott taking the snaps? My guess is probably not, but whatever happens it better happen fast, because with the QB situation worsening, so does Colorado's bowl chances.
Anderson "The Spyder" Silva has been claimed as the best pound for pound fighter in MMA recently fought against Patrick Cote last Saturday night. Silva, known for his knock outs in 1st rounds was unable to due to the fact of "toying" with Cote. The fight was so lame that Cote decided to blow his own knee out and move on to his "after-party".
Dana White was interviewed after the fight and was quite disappointed with Silva's performance. When asked about who could actually make Silva want to fight Dana responded with "I haven't decided yet. There have been rumors of Chuck Liddell and eventually Georges St. Pierre.
After hearing about this I realized there are some other people that could DEFINITELY beat Silva. Here are a few bouts I have put together.....
TERRY RAPPS
MMA Record: 3-0
Most Notable Win: Terry Brennan
Strengths: Jujitsu, Good Striker
CARL WEATHERS
MMA Record: 13-3-1
Most Notable Loss: Ivan Drago (Died)
Strengths: Good Striker, James Brown Fan
PHILLIP RIVERS
MMA Record: 20-2 (Has Killed 1)
Most Notable Quote: Yaaaaa Beddddaa Ask Someboddddyy!!!!!
Strengths: Amazing Hangtime of Football, Talks A lot of Shit
Bottom line. Dana if you are looking for fighters they are right here waiting for a chance at "The Spyder"!
You heard right. For those of you who don't know, Terry Tate was an office linebacker who was part of a marketing campaign by Reebok during the Super Bowl a few years back. These commercials were utterly hilarious, as Tate destroyed various desk jockeys for office violations, often with some bad ass smack talk afterwards. These videos were the epitome of pain, and the early versions can be found on youtube. Might I recommend the one where the office drafts a second linebacker. High comedy.
What could bring the legendary Terry Tate back from a much too long hiatus? The current election, of course. This time, the pain train exits the office and runs the Sarah Palin train right off the tracks. As an avid Obama supporter, this obviously meets with my approval. But no matter your political persuasions, everybody can rally behind the hilarity of Terry Tate. Enjoy as he blasts Palin for talking that "gobbeldy gook."
Terry Tate would also like to encourage you to vote. And he's very convincing. Vote November 4th, or he'll find you.
All this and more at his website:http://www.returnofterrytate.com/
This past weekend, the Flyers beat division rival New Jersey in overtime, the Eagles had a come from behind victory against the surprising Falcons, and the Phillies are only one win away from the city’s first professional title in 28 years.
That’s all great, but I’m more interested in some other Philly developments. No, Rocky Balboa isn’t making yet another comeback, and neither are the peep holes in the Eagles cheerleaders’ locker room.
This is something much more monumental.
The final week of October may end up being remembered in Philadelphia as the time when the curse of the William Penn statue was destroyed (weather and Phillies bullpen permitting), but for me it will be remembered for two things:
1. Throwing a smoke bomb on the ice
2. Heckling a baby
Yes you read that correctly. Yes, both of those things actually happened.
Saturday in overtime of a key early divisional game that the Flyers desperately needed to win, somebody went Euro soccer fan and threw a smoke bomb onto the Wachovia Center ice. A smoke bomb.
Later that evening, the father of Tampa Bay Rays utility man Ben Zobrist, reported that a Phillies fan verbally abused the baby he was holding (not clear if it was Ben Zobrist’s kid or not) who had the audacity of walking into Philadelphia wearing Rays gear. A baby.
Of course this should surprise absolutely no one. This is, after all, the same fan base that booed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, gave a standing ovation as Michael Irvin was nearly paralyzed, and had to have a court room installed in the bowels of the Vet because it became too much of a burden to the police department to move the numerous unruly Eagle fans every Sunday to a police station.
Heckling a baby, though? Come on!
It’s a freaking baby! A baby has no control over the clothes it wears. It has no idea what the World Series is. And it obviously didn’t get the memo not to rock Tampa Bay gear in the house that Mike Lieberthal built.
I honestly don’t know which act was worse. On one hand, throwing a smoke bomb onto the ice has to scare the crap out of anyone in the stands in a post-9/11 climate. On the other hand IT’S A FREAKING BABY!!!
A couple years ago, my family and I went down to Cardinals spring training in Florida. We started talking to some ex-STLers now living in the Philly area. I foolishly asked “So do you guys see the Cardinals when they play in Philadelphia?”
The father stared at me like I was an idiot and said, “No, we have children. Those people are insane.”
After heckling a baby and throwing a smoke bomb on the ice, I now see what he meant.
This is by far, a new low, even for this city. We can all only hope that the Tampa Bay Rays come back to win the Series and make this band of fat ass, cheesesteak sucking, Rocky extra wannabes wait at least one more year for a pro sports championship so they can continue to blame a statue for their futility.
Or they can win it all, and get right in that baby’s face and show it how dumb it was to rep another team.
Sunday saw the debut of linebacker/meast/professional asskicker Mike Singletary as head coach of my beloved, but craptastic San Francisco 49ers. For the first time in weeks, I didn't make the trip to watch the game (damn you classes that force me to watch movies on my Sundays), and judging by the whoopin' we received at the hands of the hapless Seattle Seahawks, it's probably better that I didn't.
But the game wasn't without it's fair share of intrigue for the boys in scarlet, as the league's most clutch interception thrower JT O'Sullivan finally found a cozy spot on the bench in favor of Shaun Hill. However, the big event came following a dumb personal foul by none other than Vernon "Rasta" Davis. Instead of just sitting Davis down, Singletary decided to send a message that no other coaches in the league have the balls to do. He sent him to the showers early, saying later that he told Davis he'd serve his team best by calling it a day early, rather than continuing his stupidity.
And I absolutely loved it. While I understand Singletary will have to do more than just be a hardass to win, and will have to figure out how to make players better, this is the kind of move that gets your players attention. And I don't think it was a hollow gesture. The guy played the game like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs, crazy and out of control (minus the bodily fluids). So he injects that same passion and fervor for the game in his coaching approach.
Nice article on the subject here: http://www.sportsline.com/columns/story/11065214
And let's face it, Vernon Davis is on the cusp of being the latest in a string of 49ers draft busts (yes Alex Smith, I'm looking at you). I gave him the benefit of the doubt early because of an injury his first season, but he's done next to nothing since, especially considering how highly he was touted coming out of Maryland. I know Mike Martz doesn't use the tight end all that much, but Davis didn't do a hell of a lot in the previous offenses that did. Here's hoping this is the wake-up call that Davis needs to become the beast he pretends to be in all those Under Armour commercials.
CLICK CLACK, Vernon. I think you hear Coach Singletary comin'.
As we are 24 hours before another NBA season, I was going to share my thoroughly analyzed yet, sure to fail predictions:
1. Playoff Shockers: Out of the West- Portland Trailblazers; Out of the East- Chicago Bulls Portland was good last year, and with the addition of Greg Oden and some experience, the Trailblazers will make it as far as a 6 seed in the West. Chicago Bulls 2 years removed from a solid team disappointed many fans last year.....don't count on a repeat. While many see the Hawks as a repeat to make the playoffs, I feel the same way, but I think like 3-4 seed for the Bulls not just a squeek by team.
2. Playoff Disappointments: Out of the West- Dallas Mavericks; Out of the East- Detroit Pistons. Now by "disappointment" I'm not saying these teams do not make the playoffs, but a 7 or 8 seed would be a bad thing for these once prominent franchises.
3. The Boston Celtics will repeat as the 1 seed in Eastern Conference, but will not only fail to repeat as NBA champs, but as Eastern Conference....everyone has their rings, OK enter let down.
4. Rookie of the Year???? Greg Oden, was having trouble picking this one until read that because he did not play at all last year, he is eligible. He will have the biggest role on the best team then any of the other Top 5 contenders. Others in consideration Derrick Rose and "Prison" Mike Beasley
Greg Oden looks to bring some "versatility" to Portland this winter with a R.O.Y trophy and playoff spot
5. Your Eastern Conf. Divisional Champions and Playoff Seeds: Atlantic: Boston Celtics(1) Central: Cleveland Cavaliers(2) Southeast: Orlando Magic(4) Other 5: Toronto Raptors (3), Chicago Bulls (5), Philadelphia 76ers (6), Detroit (SUCKS!!!) Pistons (7), Atlanta Hawks (8)
6. Western Conference Divisional Champions and Playoff Seeds: Pacific: Los Angeles Lakers (2) Southwest: New Orleans Hornets (1) Northwest: Utah Jazz (3) Other 5: San Antonio Spurs (4), Phoenix Suns (5), Houston Rockets (6), Dallas Mavericks (7) Portland Trailblazers (8)
7. Coach of the Year: Vinny del Negro (Chicago Bulls) 6th Man of the Year: Shane Battier (Houston Rockets) Defensive Player of the Year: Tyson Chandler (New Orleans Hornets)
8. Eastern and Western Conference Championships: Eastern: Boston vs. Toronto Western: San Antonio vs. Utah
9. MVP- Chris Paul.....will not disappoint after incredible season.
10. NBA Finals: Toronto Raptors vs. Utah Jazz= LOWEST RATED NBA FINALS EVER= GREAT BASKETBALL!!!!!!!!!! Champion: Utah Jazz......Jerry Sloan FINALLY gets his ring
The following week closed the book on a BCS title hunt and put several teams in position to close the book on being in the title game. The tougher road looks to be that of Texas, with a game against Texas Tech this weekend, the still undefeated Red Raiders look to spoil the hopes of their in-state rival. Don't look now, but with a win this weekend Texas Tech would be undefeated and looking at their own BCS title game trip, but would still have to play Oklahoma and Oklahoma St. But let's not forget, Texas has one of the worse pass defenses in the Big-12 and if somehow the Texas Tech line could shut down Brian Orakpo, watch out for Michael Crabtree having the game of his life. Zorro is getting pumped about a title shot
Alabama at this point also looks like a team in control of their own destiny. With one remaining game against a Top 25 team, LSU, remaining in the regular season, but would still have the SEC title game to play. But with not a difficult schedule remaining Alabama seems to have the best chance to finish the season 12-0 and go into Conference Championship week 12-0. Win or lose that conference championship 'Bama is looking to have one of their best seasons since Bear Bryant era.
'Bama Alumnus (You're Welcome Max) Forrest Gump is proud of his Tide this season
The third team looking in on a BCS Title opportunity would be the seemingly ageless Joe Paterno and his Penn St. Nittany Lions. The 80+ Paterno, coming out of Columbus, Ohio with his first win in 30 years, is still very much in the BCS hunt. With two remaining games on the schedule looking like possible speed bumps for the Nittany Lions, they would also have the benefit of not having to play a championship game. With remaining coneference opponents in Iowa, Indiana and regular season finale traveling into Michigan State, Penn State will be needing to play the game of their lives, because any slip up could cost them a title game and possibly a BCS game in general. With a win over Ohio State and any Penn State loss, MINNESOTA!!!!! would be your conference champ. Because the Gophers and Nittany Lions do not play head to head, and with a tie for conference champ, the tie breaker would go to......no joke, the team who has not played in the most recent BCS game.
So, here's to having a conference chamipionship game, and not some stupid rule breaking technicality.
Just say Offensive Coordinator
Zorro is getting pumped about a title shot