Week 8: Team RAMrod vs. Pats

Who the fuck are these guys?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

After getting their collective asses handed to them by three really good teams and Seattle, the Rams finally woke up and won a slop fest in Washington and beat the ever living snot of the Tony Romo-less Cowboys. No word on whether or not Romo went to Mexico again.

St. Louis will try once again to play the role of giant killers when they go to New England on Sunday to play the Pats (note: Welkaaahhh!!!).

Interestingly, New England will probably be the second worst team that the Rams will have played so far this year. Seattle being the worst. The Pats are battered and bruised and are starting to look older than Matlock's target audience.

Bruised? Battered? Hmmm sounds like the Cowboy team that the Rams just beat by 20.

However, the Rams have some serious injury concerns of their own. Steven Jackson, who broke out of his shell for 160 yards on Sunday, and Adam Carriker a key part of a very good defensive line, are both termed as "50-50" by head coach Jim Haslett (...the dogs out).

Personally, I can't see Steven Jackson missing this one. Dude just exploded on Sunday, and he did practice this morning. He may not be a hundred percent, but there's no way he's wearing street clothes on Sunday.

At any rate, if Jackson does play, this offense will score on an older, slower New England defense. Expect to see Marc Bulger look for rookie wideout Donnie Avery for another long strike.

The key to this game will be St. Louis's pass rush.

For all the crap we heard about Matt Cassell being screwed his whole career playing behind Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart, and Tom Brady, the guy has looked like nothing more than a competent NFL backup. He's not Tom Brady, nobody is, and that offensive line is nowhere near as good as it was last season.

Denver had no problem getting to Cassell for six sacks on Monday night. If the Rams can do anything similar and make him uncomfortable, they will win this game.

Pick: Rams 24, Patriots 17.

Coming to a Theater Near You

As a life long sports fan, very few sports stories seem to really move me, but it is the select few that will live in my heart forever. Because of the passion I feel for these stories, I feel they should be shared by all as a movie. The first movie I have discovered that will be going into production will be the story of the 2005-06 Chicago Bears....picked by many so called "experts" (Sports Illustrated, ESPN etc.) to finish with the worst record in the NFL. This team fought back against adversity to finish with the second best record in the NFC. Recently Hollywood executives have pushed for a movie to be made of this team, and I got a special sneak peak at the casting list....here it is:

"I swear her tits were like THIS BIG!!!!!"

The role of slow-witted QB Rex Grossman aka Sex Cannon, Rex-tasy etc. will be played by......
Derek Zoolander

Both are known for being dumb and narcisists. But more importantly they are known for having "one look." While Zoolander's is a pose, Grossman's is a receiver.....40 yards down field in triple coverage.

The next role will being filled will be QB Kyle Orton

Behold......The Neck Beard!!!!

The role of Kyle Orton will be played by......
Val Kilmer as The Sherpa

Two Reasons for Kilmer to be casted as Orton.......The Beard......and the weed

The next role is one of great importance, the role of All-Pro linebacker Brian Urlacher


It took alot of thought and consideration until they settled on
Ivan Drago

Both individuals are known for their punishing strength and while Urlacher never killed a guy, his career it is still early in his career. And even if Urlacher never kills anyone he will "break you"

The next character will be the role of rookie/douche bag running back Cedric Benson
I didn't punch, no mutha' fuckin cop!!!!!!!!

Casting this character was like hitting a softball off of a tee, playing Benson will be....
Damien Marley

........ENOUGH SAID

A more under appreciated role will be that of Defensive Coordinator Ron Rivera


Yet again, the executives hit a home run with casting this character, playing Ron Rivera will be...

Jose Canseco

Both of these guys were considered one of the greats at one point in their career and then fell off for awhile and became unheard of. While Canseco made the most noise in the past 10 years in baseball with his book "Juiced," Rivera remains unheard of.....perhaps he could destroy his credibility and life by doing something crazy and stupid as well.....maybe working for this guy?


Hmmmm a little early for a Jack & Coke isn't it Al???

And I digress.....the next character is possibly the most important role, the character of head coach Lovie Smith

Shhhh Lovie is trying to figure out why people pick apart the Tampa 2 so easily, perhaps run a different coverage??? Nahhhhhh

For this character we bring in a not only talent actor but, an even more talented badass
Samuel L. Jackson

Not only has Jackson played the role of a coach before, he is a card carrying member of the official bad ass club......not to mention bald. But the main role of casting Jackson as Lovie Smith is to keep the Bears coach from "looking like a BITCH!!!!!" Jackson was asked about his role as the Bears coach and this is what he had to say "Mutha' fuckas try and cast me as another mutha fuckin coach Ill take the damn role and make all these mutha fuckas and make them my bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jackson plays the role of a coach so well because of his ability to succesfully carry on a normal conversation while screaming.

The final and most versatile role will be the character of Bears All-Pro kicker Robbie "Solid as" Gould

Kicking is fun!!! HEHE

Because this role would be so difficult to play, we had to go into our biology lab and create our own character using the most advanced DNA technology, after months in the lab we were able to produce an actor perfect enough to play this role. Playing the role of Robbie Gould is.....

The Love Child of these two guys

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?????????

and I will end on that note......coming soon, The Rick Ankiel movie

Who is Elite XC??? What does it do???

For some of individuals who do or do not follow MMA, you probably have never heard of Elite XC......and you never will. After plummeting ratings the Elite XC has folded and will not be producing any more fights. Just how bad were the ratings? It made the XFL look like the final episode of The Sopranos!!!!
This guy thinks it's funny!!!
This Guy doesn't

But hate or love the sport of mixed martial arts you have to love the appeal of shock and awe, such as.......


I was amazed too when I heard King Kong was going to fight Frank Stallone as well. Kidding, the Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock fight was going to be a huge spectacle, something I was sort of super psyched to see......until it didn't happen. After tuning in to watch this event, I soon learned that this fight was not going to happen, instead Kimbo was going to fight this guy Rufio, Rufio.....RU-FI-OOOOOOOOO

I couldn't figure out how the Elite XC flew to Never Never Land to find a contender 30 pounds lighter than Kimbo and actually expected fans to be entertained, I mean Kimbo was a killing machine, how could a guy half his size even compete?!?! Instead replacement Seth Petruzilli knocks out Kimbo Slice in 14 seconds........really????


Tito Ortiz has been very critical of Kimbo ever since his debut in MMA, calling him such things as a "punk." Tito also went on to call everyone whoever banged his girlfriend, Jenna Jameson, a punk......sorry we couldn't have a more specific list for this area.

UFC Commisioner Dana White said this about the folding of Elite XC: "Our society has sunk to a new low with the broadcast of EliteXC’s display of Mixed Martial Arts on CBS this past Saturday night.” White also described the fight between Kimbo and Petruzilli as "horrendous."

Has a great idea for upcoming main event.....

WHITE KIMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VS.

STRAIGHT DAVE!!!!!! Kinda

Her?

So right now im pretty drunk so let any misspellings go unseen. But appently Im not as drunk as the P-D who has the Blues playing the Angels Sayruday night.

:ast time I checked the angles play baseball and the kings and ducks played hockey so good job!

The blues face off against the kings, friday night.



See more: Real Men Wear Blue

Look Out, Bono!

The baseball season is still going on and Albert Pujols has already started to accumulate awards like it's nobody's business.

Today the slugger grabbed the Sporting News Player of the Year award, which is voted on by 314 fellow Major Leaguers. This comes just a few days after Prince Albert grabbed the MLBA's NL Outstanding Player trophy (also voted on by the players).

Albert is also up against Cliff Lee and Man-Ram for the Players' Choice Player of the Year Award, which will be announced later this week.

The real question though is whether or not El Hombre will be able to capture his second NL MVP after posting a .357 average (2nd in NL), knocking out 37 bombs (T-4th) and driving in 116 runs (4th).

His stiffest competition for the MVP would seem to be Ryan Howard, who despite leading baseball in homers and RBIs (by a lot) only managed to hit for a .251 average, and Man-Ram, who I believe actually put the other 24 members of the Dodgers on his back and went into the outfield to listen to music on his .mp3 Oaklies en route to taking the Dodgers to their first NLCS since Madonna was hot (unless you're A-Rod).

The thing that those two have working for them though is the fact that their teams made the playoffs. Remember, this is the same Albert Pujols that bitched and moaned two years ago, when Ryan Howard beat him out for the MVP in a year that the Phils didn't make the postseason.

At the end of the day though, Howard's average and Manny's limited time (53 games) in the NL will be tough to gloss over.

After being screwed over by Bonds and Howard in the past I think it would be a travesty to have such a consistent machine like Albert Pujols end his career with only one MVP, and I think the voters will recognize that.

By the end of awards season, Albert can expect his trophy case to get even fuller, even more so than Bono's.

The First Real Test

It seems pretty absurd to suggest that a game in mid October can be very monumental, but when the Blues hit the ice against the hated Red Wings tonight, they will be playing their most important game since the lockout.

After five games, the Blues have planted themselves into the upper echelon of the NHL by posting special teams numbers that are just downright nasty.

Skeletor errr Andy Murray’s decision to go sans defensemen (or sometimes one) on the power play has turned around a unit that last year trailed… everyone. This year so far? The PP is clicking to a tune of 40.9%, which means they are trailing… no one. In fact the next best power play unit is Edmonton who checks in having converted 29.4% of their chances.

Not to be overlooked is the team’s penalty kill unit which is currently sixth in the league, killing 90% of all chances. This unit also had possibly the best moment of this young season, when they killed off a double minor which quickly turned into a five on three against Toronto, the key sequence of a 5-4 Blues shootout win.

None of this matters, though, if you can’t beat teams in your own division. The power play nearly sent the Predators back to extinction on opening night, and two clutch goals in the third sent the Blackhawks crashing.

But those teams aren’t the Red Wings.

Those teams aren’t the best collection of skaters and passers since the Soviet Red Army squad.



For the Blues, this should be the last year of a playoff-less rebuilding squad, but early on it looks as though this team is a playoff team. This game is huge to see how the Blues, especially on the power play, respond to a good team, and also for the Blues to show that they will not be bullied around by this Red Wing squad again.

There isn’t much of a question as to how good the Wings are. As much as I hate to say it, last year’s team was the best hockey team I have ever seen. Detroit should run away with this division again, especially with the addition of Marion Hossa, and the continued development of Johan Franzen.

However, the Blues need to make a move in the standings this year; this team needs to at the very least be in serious contention for a playoff spot entering the last week of the season, both for development’s sake and to keep the fans in the Scott.

A winning record against Detroit would help this team accomplish both of those. A win tonight would legitimize the early season excitement surrounding the Blues, and establish them as a serious contender in the Central.

Check out more at: Real Men Wear Blue.

3 X Factors for Colorado Game

After two straight sub-par performances the Mizzou football team is looking to bounce back and stay in the competitive BCS hunt. For the team to win this week and stay competitive, there are three major key contributions the team must get:

1. Derrick Washington: before the Nebraska game I had this guy on my watch list of several post-season awards including the Heisman and Walker(RB of the year). Since then he has performed poorly, in the last two games Washington has 28 yards on 15 carries, a yd/carry avg. of less then 2. In order for any offense to be succesful there must be a balance and in the last 2 weeks the balance has been unsuccesful. Washington is a very good running back who should be getting more than 15 carries a game, let alone over 2. If the O-line can get it done upfront expect Washington to have much better numbers.

2. Elvis Fischer: until the Oklahoma State game Elvis Fischer was turning alot of heads and considered a favorite as a Freshman All-American candidate. Since then he has done a very poor job of protecting the QB's blind side. In order for Chase Daniel to be succesful he must get time, if he doesn't he will continue to fall flat on his face, and the time he has to throw will be directly on the shoulder's of Fischer. I hope Fischer can bounce back and have a big game against Colorado, but this matter remains uncertain due to the lack of track record this guy has.

3. Coaching: since the Nebraska game this has been an obvious issue, not just in the defense but all of a sudden on the offensive side of the ball. 2 main adjustments must be made, the first to the secondary, the experiment of making safety William Moore more versatile by moving him around on the field has not worked. Would you play a Center Fielder at second base? No, let the All-American do what he has done very well the past few seasons and make some plays in the pass defense. The safety, who set the season record for interceptions in a season has not made a single one this year, not to mention the team has been unable to defend against the deep ball.

Cardinals to not exercise option on pitcher Mark Mulder

Not that this comes as a surprise to many Cardinal fans, but the team announced today that they will not bring Mark Mulder back as a pitcher. There is not much to say about this issue because it does not bring much of a shock to anyone who has followed Cardinals baseball over the past few years. In the first season after aquiring Mark Mulder he started in 32 games and posted a 16-8 record with a 3.64 ERA, helping lead the Cardinals to their second straight 100+ win season. Since the 2005 season Mulder has gone 6-10 with an ERA of 7.72 in three seasons, which does not say much considering he only pitched in 23 games in those seasons. So while some might miss the injury prone pitcher, I feel the move may go more unnoticed.

Welcome

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