Staying: Mike Leach. Seriously, I think I may be in love. Dude not only has the no. 2 team in the country (IMO no. 1), and two legit Heisman candidates under his tutelage, but he also may be the coolest person ever. The guy has an animatronic pirate skeleton in his office! Also, he gives amazing first-date advice:
"The Girl will be forced to eat in front of you"???? Awesome!
In a conference riddled with douchebag head coaches (see: Bob Stoops, Mike Gundy, Bob Stoops, Dan Hawkins, Bo Pelini, Bob Stoops, Bob Stoops) Leach provides some much needed douche free entertainment.
Going: Texas Tech fans chanting “B-C-S” after every win. This chant should be reserved for campaigning purposes only. I get that you haven’t even gotten a whiff of the BCS yet, but guess what neither did Mizzou or Kansas until last year, and you didn’t see them chanting “B-C-S” after every win. Guess what, if your team wins all of its games, it will be the national champion. Stop campaigning!
Going: Kansas football’s relevancy. Hope it was fun while it lasted. The Jayhawkers lost to the Bofense Saturday and now needs to catch Texas napping, Mizzou to choke in Ames, and Nebraska to lose again in order to have any hope of returning to the BCS. They will go from Orange Bowl winners to third place in a crappy division en route to a date with Houston High School in the Texas Bowl. Thanks for playing.
Staying: Alabama. The Tide stays at no. 1 in the BCS… barely. They couldn’t do what Florida and Georgia could and annihilate LSU, but they did win a squeaker in Nick Satan’s return to the Bayou. Enjoy it while it lasts, Florida will destroy this team in Atlanta on the strength of Tim Tebow’s five three-yard touchdown rushes and then stomp on one of those Bear Bryant hats.
Going: The 12th man. Look Aggie fans, I get it that you were destroyed by Oklahoma on Saturday, and I understand the desire to leave a garbage game in the fourth quarter - I did the same at Mizzou this weekend. However, you can’t call yourself the 12th man and then leave early. Especially when you make the Seahawks pay you for using the moniker (the Seahawks too can sympathize with A&M’s plight this year). You are no longer the 12th man, that has now been passed to Texas Tech for pulling a kicker out of the stands and then having him nail a field goal to help beat no. 1 Texas. The only number 12 that should apply to A&M is the number of people who remember when your team was relevant.
Staying: Notre Dame. The only way this team gets ranked this year is if they pull off an upset against USC. They won’t. Getting shutout by BC is no way to return to glory. Yes ND you have improved this year, it would have been hard not to, but you officially remain irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. I know, I know you are still Notre Dame, yes we get it - the tradition, the dome, TD Jesus, and Rudy. That’s great, but you still suck this year. The one bright spot is that maybe, just maybe you’ll find a way to beat Oregon State in the Sun Bowl and in doing so break the bowl funk you are in. Then again, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Staying: Illinois football. Staying home that is. A loss to the powerhouse Western Michigan football factory will keep the Fightin No-Mascots home this year. Team Zook needs to beat either Ohio State or Northwestern to get bowl eligible. They won’t. I know Chief Nobody, I know - you beat tOSU on the road last year, but you had a guy named Rashard Mendenhall then, you don’t now. Don’t worry though, I’m sure the Zooker will have a Tony Wonder like magician act and pull a dozen five star recruits out of nowhere so that he can helm a team to an 8-4 record. Have fun being left out of the Motor City Bowl.
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